Jimmy Choo... Vero, £475
For the more demure lady... Jimmy Choo... Aza, £335
Céline Winter 2012
ASOS Perry, £45
SJP... Icon, inspiration, white shoe queen!
I have a guilty secret. It is dirty and I feel considerably ashamed that I am voicing it in such a public arena. So, here goes... I have a secret hankering for white stilettos. For many years I, along with many others, was repulsed by the shoe in question, horrified even. Mainly because they reminded me of the eighties and not even in a good way, they smacked of Madonna, finger gloves and shoulders so padded they could be picked up on a satellite from outer space. Oh and questionable women from a little county called Essex.
Then along came Phoebe Philo and her indisputable way of making some of the most hideous items in fashion history covetable... and she has done this unbelievably well to the infamous white stiletto. Oh and there was Raf Simons and his habit of making this shoe oh so beautiful via the medium of his Jil Sander collections. I love that they use clunky vertiginous wedges and covetable collections to team them with as a ruse to entice you into the grubby word of alcopops and shiny white pointed shoe demons... Sadly I have fallen under the spell and am considering indulging my dirty little secret and making a -gasp- purchase! Don't hit me hipsters!!! I can feel you judging me... staring at me with horror and your utterly directional Balenciaga heels that are so fabulous they need their own Saatchi exhibition.
The second "white shoe inspiration offender" is SJP or Carrie Bradshaw... Now I was of the "Carrie camp" when a Sex and the City obsessed youngster and still rewatch it via the medium of the DVD box set in order to relive the sartorial and sexual awakenings I experienced as a result. Carrie was and always will be my "fashion pervert icon" mainly because she taught me to embrace my eclecticism and simply add more crap to my crazy outfits than try and explain it away or get changed. So, back to my dirty little pleasure and the offending icon, Ms Bradshaw regularly dressed her feet in the offending shoe item and has also done this in real life as SJP not just as her most famous moniker. Ever since I saw her team them with vintage dresses, full skirts and various bits of designer clothing I knew one day I would have to own a pair and put my own weirdo spin on them, and my temptation has been burning harder than a Diptyque candle in a hipster's dining room.
Now for the rules... If one is to coat their feet in shiny white pointy toed leather there are some rules you need to follow. Never EVER wear before Autumn, no matter how much you are tempted to. Autumnal hues and clashing textures will give the offending shoe an ironic look, and therefore make it less Essex slapper in Sugar Hut and more fashion editrix down at Soho House. So, back to the time of year.... your visible shoe/ankle will still be delicately tanned from your two week jaunt on some remote part of the Balaerics that is so fabulous the travel pages don't even know it exists yet... Pale + white stiletto = Sexy no no no!!! Now to the hemlines... this item should be worn with simple, streamlined tailoring à la Céline or Chloé or Helmut Lang or Margiela. They will look especially fabulous with anything directional/avant garde. If one must be daring or naughty and wear a skirt, midi length and full skirted a la Oscar de la Renta are best in my opinion as it takes away from any possible ick-factor and will help you to avoid the slapper factor that a mini skirt will most definitely cause.
Oh, and last but not least one must wear the offending footwear with attitude and a dash of "I just don't give a fuck..." Happy white stiletto loving!
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