Monday, 15 June 2015


Darlings... Sunday was my birthday and in true fashion hag style I felt that the "Only Way is Marbs" TOWIE special being aired on the very day was some kind of birthday magic from the telly box gods. But low and behold fears I had a mighty shock... 

Now I decided man-buns were ovahhhhhh about a million years ago  because dating a boy with better top knot game than me is, well, sacrilege! But I knew a boy rocking a greasy ballet bun was definitely being relegated to the sartorial graveyard when a very pretty man-child with better eyebrows than Kim Kardashian and a pout to rival a porn stars was prancing round poolside rocking one and giving half the Essex princesses the glad eye whilst wearing a "floral co-ord bebs" my point being once it's on TOWIE I know a trend/style/outfit/grooming habit is officially dead. Deader than disco. 

Now don't get me wrong he was fit... But will all the penis packers please just stick to looking like men. Why are they plucking their brows, shaving their pubes/pits/legs and nicking our hair styles?! The only thing differentiating Pete the Top Knot from the girls was his artfully trimmed beard! Even his outfit looked like he had borrowed it off his sister. Now don't get me wrong I can appreciate a metrosexual, I like men who can be romantic and understand the concept of SPF and moisturiser making you look fresh and not too old... But fake tan, brows tidier than mine and rocking my favourite hair style cannot be tolerated! I'm all for them doing a Gosling and embracing feminism, but looking like you no longer pack a penis is a step too far... It's high time all you bearded, man bun rocking hipsters started embracing your inner cave man! Next you'll be asking if I've heard of Sunday Riley face oils and wearing my bras! Bleurgh!

Man buns be GONE!!! I'll even pay for all of your hair cuts...  

illustration by me. Enq.

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